A Day in the Life

4:32 am: Woken by Paul having a dream and hyperventilating in it - apparently dreaming about Dogs - I think he was actually panting....

4:47 am: Still not back asleep, although man next to me is snoring away. Get up to go to bathroom, hoping an empty bladder will assist me.

5:13 am: Still awake - empty bladder only served to give 6 lb person inside of me better punching access to my kidneys

5:27 am: Paul realizes I'm awake (probably due to the audible pain responses) and offers to rub my back

5:29 am: Paul falls asleep rubbing my back.

5:54 am: I determine that there is now enough light for me to read if i open my shutters. Open shutters, open book

Sometime in the next 20 minutes, fall asleep.

7:15 am: Paul tells me i need to get up because he needs to leave in the next few minutes and the children are awake. I grunt and roll over onto my other side.

7:23 am: Ada Brooks crawls in bed with me and steals my covers.

7:27 am: I hear Paul tell Eason, "Do not pour that out! put the top back on it!"

7:27 and 30 seconds am: Paul tells me, "See if you had gotten up, Eason wouldn't have poured out the open bottle of glue all over the red room."

7:28 am: I ask Paul if he has now removed the glue from Eason's possession and he says, "I told him to put the top back on it" I begrudgingly get out of bed.

7:30 am: Help Eason wash hands

7:35 am: Assist Ada Brooks and Eason in cleaning up glue mess (she left the glue out, top off, and thus shares partial responsibility for cleaning up mess. a lesson we've attempted to teach 43 times now.)

7:45 am: Put three pieces of cinnamon toast in oven for children and me.

7:48 am: Remind Eason that Day One/Take Two of potty training is today. No Diapers. (Day One/Take One was interrupted by sweet sadie macon brantley entering the world yesterday)

7:51 am: Remember that toast is in oven. Rescue it. Put Eason in high chair. Have small argument with him about his desire to sit in a big chair. Get ridiculous amount of satisfaction from winning argument in such a short time. Call Ada Brooks away from finishing the glue mess clean up (which may have turned into a glue craft creation) for breakfast.

7:53 am: Load Dishwasher. Cuss at husband when I open three day old spaghetti container he has neglected to bring home until yesterday and thus almost sends me to revisit morning sickness days. Cuss at myself for doing the same thing to him thousands of times i'm sure and never once apologizing. Start dishwasher feeling like a bad wife.

8:05 am: Get Eason out of high chair. Put him in my lap so he can concentrate on what I'm saying. Remind him he has big boy underwear on and when he needs to go potty to let me know. Feel warm wetness on my leg as I realize he has just puddled on himself and me. Remove and replace big boy underwear. Wipe him down. Remove and replace my pants.

8:15 am: Crawl up on couch with both children to read Dr. Seuss's environmental propaganda "If I ran the Rainforest" (which i fully support). Explain the following: Emerge (definition), Canopy (definition), Transpiration (process, which leads to definitions of precipitation, pores, CO2 and Oxygen), how roots work, different kinds of rain forests. Decide it will be fun to hear a howler monkey after we've read about them. Google howler monkeys. End up at Belize Zoo website. which leads to much, much animal exploration. And lots of attempts by all three of us to replicate howler monkey sound.

8:33 am: In middle of book reading/explaining, Eason gets up to go to potty. Doesn't want help. Doesn't have any success. On his way back from the potty, he steps on small sliver of glass I apparently missed when sweeping up the second glass broken by a roaming pet yesterday. Foot is bleeding. Ada Brooks informs me we are out of bandaids. We rig with scotch tape and gauze. Back to book and explaining. See above.

9:07 am: Ada Brooks asks if she can please watch an Inspector Gadget episode. (Yes, the same Gadget from mid 1980's glory. It's on Netflix Instant Watch) "They are only 21 minutes long, Mama" That's true, so I give in. I watch the first five minutes of Inspector Gadget and then head to the Baby's room to fold the three loads of clean clothes that have been deposited over there over the last three days. Eason follows.

9:35 am: Eason and I move from folding clothes and into the kitchen to make pound cake for Paul to take to the beach tonight. I get all ingredients out so they can get closer to room temperature. Eason knocks over a cup of milk. We clean up.

9:45 am: I get mixer out of cabinet. I cannot bend down to really see, so I just reach in to get it. Cutting my finger on the food processor blade. Knowing we have no bandaids, I apply pressure with a wet paper towel.

9:50 am: Begin making pound cake.

10:13 am: Eason, disobeying, climbs up on top of the washing machine to get better access to the pretzels. While standing on top of the washing machine, he puddles. Results of this action drip into the clean clothes that have just finished spinning in the washing machine. I clean him up, get very mad at him for being on top of the washing machine, trying to differentiate between that and being mad about his accident, which I'm not. He cries and requests a diaper. I explain to him that a diaper won't help with his disobedience of climbing up on the washing machine. I hear the mixer and realize pound cake is going to be overbeaten.

10:30 am: Put pound cake in the oven.

10:41 am: Send Paul an email updating him on the morning (he wanted to know how the potty training was going). Realize I should keep track of the whole day for the sake of memories.

10:54 am: Discover that while I was emailing Paul, Eason has begun the fun game of jumping from Ada Brooks's loft bed to his bed below. She is laughing hysterically at his apparent whip lash. I forbid any more transfer of bed to bed.

11:13 am: Begin preparing Lunch.

11:28 am: Feed children Mangoes and Left-Over Pizza.

11:37 am: Engaged by Ada Brooks in a conversation about how funny it is to be eating something so healthy as a Mango with something so 'junk food-ie' as left over pizza. Try not to laugh at her burgeoning since of Irony. Feel like a bad mother when she asks why we don't always say the blessing at lunch time, when we always say it at supper time.

11:43 am: Realize that Eason is preparing for the "big job" as we often refer to Number 2 around here. Take him to potty. He is successful. We have a little party in the bathroom, complete with a two MnM reward.

11:59 am: Banish children to get out energy on trampoline. Eason proceeds to puddle on deck in underwear, removes underwear, jumps on trampoline naked.

12:32 pm: Begin cleaning chicken for chicken enchiladas to send to Florida. Also clean chicken from Sams to freeze for meals for next 4-5 weeks. Wonder to self whether chicken at 2/3 the price is worth cleaning and freezing. Wonder how dangerous salmonella really is.

12:45 pm: Gather children together to clean up their room pre-naptime. Monitor the cleaning up of room. Try not to kill children.

1:30 pm: Read to Eason "The Popples Peeking", Tuck him in for nap. (after putting a blessed diaper on him)

1:45 pm: Check email, read news, help Ada Brooks draw a crown. Call Paul and ask if he'll bring me some lunch on his way home. Needing a nap.

2:25 pm: Help Ada Brooks design a paper crown, help gather various craft supplies for construction of said crown.

3:00 pm: Begin making chicken enchiladas. Spend next thirty minutes idiotically shredding 2 lbs of cooked chicken by hand. Paul says, when i'm 3 minutes from finishing, "can you not just put that in the food processor?" I say "I can, but it seems chewier that way and i like it better this way." "Oh," he says, "you aren't even eating it, though, right? and I cannot tell a difference." I try not to throw chicken at him.

4:00 pm: Assist in math lesson for Ada Brooks. Places - ones, tens, hundreds and how they help us add two and three digit numbers. Lesson prompted by "What's 12 plus 12?" Sometimes, I wish I had it in me to just say "24" and move on....

4:11 pm: Put chicken enchiladas in oven.

4:14 pm: Help kids blow bubbles outside. Complain to Paul about various aches and pains. Lie and tell him that no, in fact, I am thrilled that he is leaving in an hour and a half for 72 hours of beach fun... I am actually torn, but no need to tell him any part but the thrilled part.

4:35 pm: Lie down on couch.

4:39 pm: Get up from couch - get string cheese after realizing that I never ate my lunch that Paul brought me - decide to save that for supper.

4:45 pm: Read Creation Story out of Beginners Bible to Eason. He's completely uninterested. Ada Brooks, reading over my shoulder, asks if God really called the darkness "Night" - because thats what we call it and I told her that English is a relatively new language, and didn't God create the world a long time ago?

5:05 pm: Pack up Chicken Enchiladas for Paul to take. Wrap another piece of foil around Pound Cake.

5:15 pm: Put Eason in bath, successfully nominate Paul to bathe and get him out.

5:30 pm: Steam Broccoli and boil water for cheese ravioli for kids' suppers.

5:45 pm: Serve supper. Kiss Paul good bye for his beach trip.

6:00 pm: Clean up spilled milk. Again.

6:05 pm: Put kids out on deck with fudgesicles for dessert.

6:20 pm: Get kids wiped down, both claim they still need food, dole out bananas.

6:25 pm: Re-Wipe banana off of kids.

6:30 pm: Usher Eason toward bedroom for reading of The Bunnies are Not in Their Beds. Fifth reading this week.

6:40 pm: Kiss Eason goodnight. Begin game of Sorry with Ada Brooks

7:05 pm: Sorry game is mercifully short. Oversee Ada Brooks readying for bed.

looking forward to 7:30 pm: Curl up on couch with Another Roadside Attraction and supper.